I find myself going into situations where I think I'll be filled with resentment and loneliness, so I try to hide myself, my physical self, so I don't have to experience what I think will blacken my perception.
Tonight was like that. I assumed I would walk into my cousin's wedding a stranger, an alien to this tribe. Things changed abruptly. It wasn't a day for me to be noticed or to be congratulated about my
life. Yet somehow it happened with almost everyone I came in contact with.
Old men called me a "knockout" and asked me to dance to Outkast.
The ceremony was beautiful, something I find foreign to say. The air was so clear, the colors an ocean shade. Strangers walked out on their balconies from far away to witness the celebration. As we left the event, I saw sailboats moving slowly like clouds across the crystal blue water. Today was the most vibrant summer I've witnessed.
At the reception I sneaked wine into coffee mugs and felt pretty good. I found myself dancing more than I can ever recall, most notably with a circle of retirees to "The Humpty Dance", "Billie Jean", and "Push It."
Everyone had starry eyes and looked so beautiful. They seemed so interested in my
life, and I barely even knew them. One of my cousins (who I haven't seen in probably a decade) told me she is an English major, and said I could call her at any time if I needed help with writing or any life situation. I thought that was so kind.
By the end of the night the sky was lucid and black, the air bit at my skin with its chill.
I felt so alive, and bonded with one of my older cousins. It's times like these I wish I were just a few years older so that I could spend my realities with people like that.
I am so in love with experience.
I'm spending the week in a college workshop, only holding my trust in new people.
I hope it will be like the dance floor tonight; you know no one, but you bond over the moment you're in and can't escape from.
(I love that picture of Carolyn)
We went to the playground behind our old school to swing and gossip.
Dancing with rays of light in front of said school.
The best picture of my ~boyfriend~.
This dress makes me look pregnant. Anyway, that's what I wore today and I like it a lot.
(Wow I actually have teeth)
I wore this shirt to my interview at the library, and hey guess what...
I GOT THE JOB!